Saturday, 10 December 2011

حياة (hayat) ~ Life

ere is where I find my LOVE and FAMILY every Friday! They love and care me as I am their child !


Whom the care given by ~
Whom the love given by ~
I enjoy sitting in the bus because Razan will always be there listening to me.


This is how I party here ~ With drunkness and laughter near the beach !

Imagine, holding a cup of vodka, walking round the swimming pool (change to beach), with waiter asking if you want a piece of meat or a glass of drink. High-heeled and make up. A white party.

Dear DaJie, now your sista knows how to make up too ^^

Arabic wedding? You kidding me? With hijap on head and traditional clothes, THIS IS SUPER COOL ! The coolest thing is, ONLY WOMAN IS ALLOWED in the wedding. AND !!! PHONE IS NOT ALLOWED in the wedding. PLUS !!! From 7pm - 12am, there is only one activity : DANCING !





Thursday, 8 December 2011

Sacrifaction

I start seeing the BOND between my kids and I ! With a huge piece of "sound devoice" mirror between us, we communicate with sign language and body language. She's a non-verbal three years old girl. I understand everything she wants to tell me, like always; but this is the first time I realised, how sweet it can be when you share the same "mind frequency" with someone!

There was one day. She bit me hardly with all her energy. With ignorance and extinction behaviour plan, she released. She checked my hand and she found a clean and clear tooth mark. She cried. She blushed her hand over the tooth mark and this made her feel bad. "You should scold me, you should scream at me, you should stop whatever you're doing and feel sad!! I bit you!!! I bit you!!! I can see the mark". I felt bad too, I really did; deep in my heart, with a robotic emotionless face, covering over my yellow skin.

I want to bring you to this world. The world which under the control of the Principle of Life. You have to work regardless how sick you are. You have to work regardless how sad you are. This is a path where you have to go through as long as you stay under the human skin.

We have gone through a long journey. With tears and sadness; with mark and wound. Then here we are, with laughter and understanding; with food sharing and listening. The day you fed me with your food; with your saliva all over the food, I ate. Like a mom feeding a child; your time to be a mom, my time to be a child.

With professional ethics, I shall be forgetting the happiness and sadness. Just like the owner of the center, she controls, she manipulates, she works. This is our role, to be emotionless. This is our career, to be forgetful.

I can not not more than agree~ I appreciate this job. It can make my day it can make it the worst ever. This is why 95% of the people in the center, sacrifice for this career, and this gives them satisfaction.

Friday, 18 November 2011

尊敬,文化!

答应妈要把照片都放上来的说,可是却迟迟都很不得空!
可是有件事却不能只收在脑里不分享!

每个星期五已在我笔记里预定了的羽毛球,常让我很忙碌的生活留个透气点!
在羽毛球协会遇见的每个人也常让我的生活起个新鲜点!

话说,整个对话都在很自然的语调中发生的!

我跟一个羽毛球对手聊天,聊着聊着,他跟路过的一个女生打了个招呼!
因为礼貌,他跟我介绍说:“我是她孩子的爸爸”!
我笑了笑,心想:这球员还满幽默的说;怎么不直说她是谁呢~
我笑着回说:“那她不就是你太太咯!”
或许是因为不明白为什么我笑,他也顿了顿~
然后很自然地解释说:“她不是我的太太,她是我朋友的太太”

Friday, 11 November 2011

Inshalah ~ 希望

当我们不断希望和要求自己的达令、男朋友、老公,怎么怎么温柔体贴时~ 望着已有四个孩子的五十岁的她跟她的“男朋友”吻别!去飞机场的路上,吹着要来临的冬风;在想,那...不是她的男朋友吗?怎么有车的男朋友会忍心让因母亲的丧礼而回国的“女朋友”自己打的士到飞机场呢?整辆的士也只有朋友们护送到飞机场!

今天,一个四十余岁的朋友跟我说她的“男朋友”昨晚两点从巴基斯坦电她说想念她~ 或许大家年纪大了的时候都爱重复地跟大家说同一件事情;她说:“我男朋友在德国有生意;我一直嚷他带我去德国,可是他说我这里有朋友啦,又会这里的语言啦~没有必要去德国”...看着朋友那么相信男朋友的眼神;顿时~,我突然心寒了一下下!他们从来都不提...,有责任让精子进卵子的孩子们爸爸!几十年前,孩子们的爸爸,又怎么忍心让躺在床上的女人,一个人负起养大孩子的责任呢?

或许,精子纯粹觉得躺在上面很舒服~



也或许,精子从来不知道,原来进去了出不来~




Inshalah...多么矛盾的阿拉伯语啊!我问了很多人,大家给我的翻译都不一样。有人说,是:“GOD'S WILL *神的指意*”;有人说是:“(我)希望”!话说,地球上有多少人希望的和神的指意会相触呢?

让我有能力继续讲故事吧;Inshalah!

Saturday, 5 November 2011

Ahamdulilah ~ 生命

有一段时间没有好好地去想什么是生命了~ 可是却从来不会忘记我想要去找达赖喇嘛。就像我博客写的一样;去追梦,找达赖喇嘛教我怎么把人生智慧藏起来!渐渐地~ 我无意识地好像在为这段很不一样的机会静静地准备着!



两年前意识到背包旅行,不是自己追求的发泄~ 流浪,已经在我字典里刻下了另一个不一样的意思!感性,已经在博客慢慢消失了~ 欧洲第一高峰 -- 少女峰 -- 的日出很遗憾地没有在我的日记中刻下什么重要的意义!或许是我忘了;也或许是我没有记住!后来,对高山没有什么留恋了!也很可惜,对着 Wales 的第一高峰住了一年,却没有机会去看看他!有一段时间混乱地在地球打转着!也有一段时间没有勇气抬头看夕阳!想说,就这样随便地安定下去吧~ 随便跟着生命的定律,活动着!

每一段旅程都常为我准备不一样的理念!一个个我遇见的人都为我准备不一样的礼物:一些比用钱买的礼物更珍贵的故事~ 他们都很相信我地告诉着我--他们的故事;比阅读故事书更有趣地看着他们用各种不同的语言,起起伏伏的表情,听着文化不一样的感想!这时,我才了解 Professor Morrie 的:"If you don't like the culture, don't buy it"。

这时,曾经在 13 个国家首相面前致词的单身经理电我,问我我的工作;对面却坐着有了孙子却没有丈夫,有情人却又不在身边的朋友!一个一个月赚 20 千马币的高职地球人;一个一个月才赚 1 千马币的蓝领地球人!工资、爱情、钱、伴侣、身价,这时候在我的意识里已经慢慢失色了!

忘了是哪里想回来的一个概念:这个世界有各种不同的女人,你在这里自由自在地用着电脑时;一个单身女人在公司里埋头忘了自己存在的意义,不断工作着;又在一个家里,妻子被丈夫强逼着进行性行为;也有一个女人在后巷洗着碗,努力赚钱寄回家给孙女读名校~ 一个风光的女人,背后可能有着多么不为人知的心酸!(还记得以前不久就会有一段《女人》在博客出现)



突然,在这里视我为女儿的干妈流着眼泪!听着电话另一段从菲律宾带来的悲伤~ 一直呼着她回家的妈妈去世了!她说 (菲律宾话):妈常常会很辛苦地用电话跟我说“回来吧,回来吧”~ (又是我看着表情和语态分析,了解的)

干妈很坚强~ 却在那坚强的躯壳下看到不一样的心酸!

Ahamdulilah;很美丽的阿拉伯语:感谢神。

继续往前走下去。找到陪着自己走的人不难;却坚信着会有了解自己为什么要继续走的人。